You're Grounded!

When did the words "good morning" become offensive? Every morning I happily greet my teen and I'm met with a series of whiny grunts.  I ask again hoping for a different result but the grunts get louder.  Where did my sweet little girl go? My little girl would cuddle up with me on the couch every morning and repeatedly tell me how much she loved me.  It is very uncool now, I guess.....but what do I know? Some time shortly after her 13th birthday, her view of her genius mother with vast knowledge about anything in question, suddenly warped. Sometimes I feel that she looks at me and sees Patrick Star walking around the house with beads of drool hanging from my lip.  At 13 she became an expert in all areas including life.  Was I this annoying?

Earlier this week, a simple suggestion was met with a door slam.  I was going to remove the door off the hinge but opted to spoil all her fun and take her back to the 60's.  I took her PSP, Playstation, X-Box, Wii, headphones and iPod.  Now she has to live the horror that I grew up with, now she has to be creative!  I'm loving it!  The problem is that historically, when I ground her, I tend to forget where I hid her things.  I wrote myself a note last time to remind me but I forgot where I put it.  So when the day comes to return her item(s), I'm a deer caught in the headlights.  I come up with anything that could buy me another day to ransack the house.  I panic: "No, I'm sorry but you raised your voice at me this morning and you will have one more day.  Learn to respect."  Oh God, help me!  Hell hath no fury like a teenage Scorpio with lost gadgets!  After running out of options, I tell her that if she can find it, she can have it.  I squeeze my eyes shut and hold my breath.....3, 2, 1.... "OMG!  YOU LOST MY iPOD AGAIN!!" !@#$%^&*.  Me: "Nooo, I just thought a scavenger hunt would be fun".  I always admit it at the end and eventually perfectly assume the roll of Patrick Star, standing in a puddle of drool...duhhhhh.  

I'm sure it is just a phase.  At some point she will come to see that I had to live a little to get to this age.  I will keep reflecting back on teenage Me, the pain in the butt I was and who I have become.  I yelled, whined, rebelled, slammed doors and loved the guys my parents hated.  Sweet revenge on my parents behalf.  I seemed to not listen but my mothers words always rang in my head at just the right time.  I made good decisions behind her back.  I hope that while my hormonal, omniscient child is appearing to ignore me, I am planting seeds in her curly little head.